December 2009
Lesbian Crush.
I’m not a bi-sexual nor a lesbian. I don’t see any problem with being either/or, and I don’t see any problem with just experimenting. I saw this girl on the bus. She was a butch lesbian with her hair cut short. She had dimples, a very nice smile, and she had a tomboy style. She wore Jordans & was typing away at her sidekick. If this was a guy, I probably would not have...
This new year...
I’m just going to learn to let go. This has been a struggle for me for many years. I think I need to embark on a journey in search for MY happiness for once. I’ve been helping others on their mission. I’ve stood by and maybe put my issues or goals aside for others. I’ve kept certain opinions or comments to myself, just because I didn’t want to be a mean spirited...
2010.
Everybody always gets excited for New Year’s to come about. Not because of the parties or the time spent with friends or family, but for the simple fact that they believe a new year marks a new beginning. I think people love the idea of a fresh start… Even though its not a start, its just continuing on the path of ur life. Just another year. People set up goals and expectations only...
Cry Baby.
I taught myself not to cry. When I get fustrated/stressed/upset - I’ll tear up, but I could never cry. I taught myself because of experiences I’ve been through when I was younger with my dad. He always raised me tough. Tough. Tough. Tough. I wish I could cry though. It would feel so good sometimes just to let it out….
I wish I could play an instrument...
I was never really good at playing instruments. I got too fustrated because it was too hard for me to learn while my brother learned to play the piano, violin, and trumpet with ease. The only reason I ever wanted to learn was so I could focus on one thing in my mind, and just allow the music to take over because no matter what I’m doing 3 billion worries or thoughts are going through my...
Today was a very bad day...
And some times all you need is someone to vent to and understand. It’s funny how you expect certain people to be there for you when you are going through tough times… and its always hilarious to me that those are the people who are RARELY there for me. I’m not asking for pity, but just a couple of laughs to make my day better or doing what I do for others… simply...
You motherfuckers cannot be serious....
So I can’t the strangest message today saying, “merry x-mas… shoutouts to Jeanine since she was the ONLY person to get me a Christmas gift”… Christmas is not about fucking gifts.
People are complaining because they got something, but it wasn’t anything that they wanted? How spoiled do you guys sound?
There are people homeless and ALONE on days like this. You...
Christmas
Although ‘tis the season to give, I never got anything for Christmas ever. I enjoy giving to people though especially my family. It makes me happy to know they’re happy… I don’t really want anything to tell you the truth because material things really do not phase me anymore. I just want some quality time with my family and I would be happy, but I know that would never...
PDA
I love PDA. Public displays of affection such as a little kissing here and there really doesn’t bother me. If I see other couples, it actually makes me smile to see two people that into each other. And all that hardcore making out and ass grabing - I’ll leave for the high school students, but PDA is definitely not sexy when you are grown ass Mexicans on the Q train making out and...
junglejustine:
Let me tell you something about New York City that you may or may not know:
it’s expensive
the cops are assholes
the men are assholes
the women are assholes
fuck, we’re all assholes (we’ve been trained by our parents)
the subway smells like urine 9/10 times
drugs
alcohol
pseudo artists
stupid loft parties
I don’t know why I like it here but I do. You should come visit.
I heart NYC.
32806:
michellecarriere:
I am so insanely and abidingly jeaous of people who live in Manhattan. I’m convinced that none of them really appreciate it. Like this girl who says, “Oh, I live on the Upper West Side,” in the same tone as she would say, “Oh, I had buttered toast for breakfast.” When I finish school (and/or win a million dollars in the lottery) I am moving to New York the very first...
“we don’t love them hoes.”
2 tags
Move: Precious
I think that this movie was great, but what made me think the most is the ending…. it was dedicated to all the “Precious girls of the world”.
It’s outrageous how at this moment right now, someone could be going through all those atrocities…..
Love comes in many forms...
My manager has a husband whom she’s know for 8 years or longer, and she’s been cheating on him. As much as it may sound messed up to a lot of you, I feel like whatever works for people works for them. I try not to judge because there is no one set way of how a relationship should be. Only society makes you think that. There are many things such as open marriages or swingers, and even...
Are people only remembered after they've died?
I seen this a lot with the unfortunate death of celebs. There’s a rampage about how much you liked their work, or you go about acting as though you were such a great fan. It makes me think if people just appreciate someone after they have lost them…. after it’s too late. It makes me wonder a lot about death. Whenever someone dies, whether it’s someone I know or even on the...
Late night lurker.
I’m just up contemplating a billion things in my mind… especially after a conversation with one of my good friends. Thought #1 - When girls flirt, they just flirt. When guys flirt, it always leads to other things. Thought #2 - Guys always want to go out, party, & have fun… but when the girl wants to do it… It’s wrong and just makes the guy want to look else...
Some friends make you laugh like the Sunday...
I have all different types of friends, and I love/appreciate them all. Some have been there more than others, so I definitely put more effort into those relationships than others. A major turn off for me though when it comes to people are shit talkers. I don’t care if you are an attention whore, a drama queen, etc etc. I’ll just plan on staying away from you because I’ve mature...
Analytical Thinker.
I analyze a lot of things especially when it comes down to the actions of people. I take everything as a sign, a symbol, or how you may be in the future. This really comes into to effect when I’m trying to make new friends or even when I’m trying to find a guy to settle down with. I’m a strong believer that actions speak louder than words. A lot of people HAVE told me I might...
Doesn't it feel nice?
When someone truly likes you for you. I feel like its the most refreshing feeling in the world… just because you don’t ever have to compromise yourself for anyone else…
Ipod from High School.
I had the craziest playlists with songs ranging from blunt ashes - nas, bury me in my guccis - max b, knocking the boots - jodeci, royal flush - outkast, killa lipstick - ghostface, should I tell her - ric roc, to blue light - bloc party, 4ever - lil mo, my neck my back - khia…. Every song brought back a special memory. Some songs even made me reminisce about how much I was in...
Hip Hop, you're the love of my life.
My love with him is quite selfish. I rarely want to share some of the songs that I secretly know because I don’t think that others would appreciate you the same way I do. I want to thank you for being there through my roughest times to the best of times with the right melody. Even when I was bored, you would be there with ur witty punch lines to amuse me. Thanks for drinking with me…...
Confession: I wish I could see my parents laugh...
Laugh uncontrollably. Laugh till they’re almost in tears…. I haven’t seen them laugh since I was in the 4th grade… maybe even longer. I don’t want them to laugh at comedy shows on tv or just to each other, I want them to laugh about life. I want to see them enjoy life… because I don’t think they’ve truly grasped the meaning of life or happiness yet...
This is what it sounds like to me...
I hate hearing the phrases: “I don’t know” or “I don’t care”. It’s like nails on a chalk board or being forced to listen to a Soulja Boy CD. I don’t care sounds like you don’t care enough about me to put thought into your response. It sounds like I’m a nobody to you, so you don’t care. I don’t know shows that you’re...
Pushing people away part 2
If I say some thing annoying or out of character that’s really out of no where, that’s me trying to push you away. Some times - I wish guys understand that it’s a test to see who’s willing to stick around… none one has ever made it to the end, but one which ended up being my first boyfriend & ex.
“what chu gonna do when big poppa comes for u?”
high thoughts #345
high as fuck
bugging out
blasting the “ready to die” biggie album
doing the only hoodrat head bop.
love life. and love u all.
Flex, time to have sex.
Sometimes, I wish I never had sex. I think guys start seeing you in a different light. I’m not sure if I was the one to change, but I don’t know. I feel like it’s a great thing, but at the same time it distracts you from a lot of other possibilities.
For example, my ex and I used to have a great chemistry in the beginning. Endless conversation, just pure fun and hanging out....
I don't believe in anything you say.
I just smile, laugh, and make a joke out of everything because every time I put my guard down… you do something to make me realize why I shouldn’t.
Love is Love...
Many people believe that love is this sacred/magical thing. That it should only be said to people who you are in a relationship with, and someone you can’t be without. You know that I can’t sleep, can’t breathe, etc. type of thing.
Love to me is quite different. I think it’s found all around in many different forms and shown in many different ways. I like to say “I...
Boy, stop frontin'.
I really don’t know why guys change up when they are around their friends. If you call me snookie bear (just for an example) behind closed doors, I expect you to call me that when you are around your friends.
I understand that there’s always the pride issue, but if you can’t get past that… that’s a sign that you must not like me as much as you claim you do.
ON TO...
Listen....
I truly dislike when people talk too much and do not listen enough. Not like listening to orders, but just actively listening when you are telling a story… asking questions or asking for more details.
I’m usually the listener whether I’m in a relationship or in a friendship. It doesn’t annoy me, because I love giving my opinion/advice or sharing my views on a situation...
You're not a barbie. Get over it...
Just stop the hype.
Childhood.
Isn’t it crazy how I can remember exact details of certain memories from my childhood… to the way I felt to the the things I said, but I can’t even remember what I did yesterday?
Please believe, a child remembers everything.
Ode to 2009
I kept hearing from people that 2009 has been the worst year of their life thus far. I perfer to disagree. I cried the most this year. I had the most stresses this year. I faced the toughest conflicts this year. I made the biggest mistakes. But I’m still standing, so all that means is that I conquered it all. It means that I learned the most. I also had the best laughs, met some of the...
The one who laughs the loudest carries the most...
I’m always the first one to crack a joke. I’ll always be the first to give a friendly smile. I’ll always turn every serious conversation into a comedic one… Because I fear if I reveal my true emotions, no one else would ever understand. If I really revealed what goes on in my life, then no one will ever look my way. So I laugh and I laugh and then laugh some more because...
“It’s fear of the unknown. The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it...”
– John Lennon (via photographic-lifestyle)
I want to make a documentary.
I don’t have a fancy video camera, but I think that’s okay because I sorta want it to be raw and uncut.
I wanna show life in NYC through my eyes.
Why would you wanna break up?
My ex knows exactly how to get my attention. He knows exactly to get under my skin. He knows the right things to say to get me to care again. He knows how to make me feel at my worst. No one else can.
I hate him for that…
which is why I vowed never to give anyone that part of myself again. No one will ever have that influence over me.
"You are #1"
I don’t want to be anyone’s number one. I want to be your one & only.